What’s this Lallantop, ji?

This word lallantop is just not leaving my head. I am getting confused like hell. After studying all my life in Hindi heartland (Kaashi Hindu Vishwavidyala aka BHU was the icing on the cake) I thought I was an expert on all Hindi slang including the ones they use in the parliament. But alas this is not to be. When confused, who do you turn to these days (not God). Google. In both Hindi and English, Google was of no help at all. And when Google refused to help, I decided to share my frustration with you all this blog which goes beyond randomness.

So, for all of you who don’t watch enough of idiot box the word lallantop entered my lexicon thru an ad of a product called body warmer. I have not been able to understand this word and the ad either. Someone rightly tweeted, “I think admen have much higher IQ as I don’t understand what they want to communicate.” The ad is somewhat like this. There is a sick old man on the bed. Some people are rushing to his room. They come in and very apologetically want to do something evil. They take his wooden bed outside and burn it to keep themselves warm for the night. If they had this brand of body warmer then they wouldn’t need to burn wood and that is the lallantop idea! Pardon me for simplifying the ad. I couldn’t find the link for the ad on youtube, else I would have posted it.

It seems that I am not the target audience for body warmer as I live in Mumbai which is hotter in December than in Monsoon. Does that mean people in North (the brand’s TG) have a better sense of humour or higher IQ than me? What say you?

Maybe I am being hyper about some mass humour. Maybe I have become too much of a lifestyle person. Just because I don’t find the product being the hero I should not be critical of advertising. This is old school thinking. The grey in my hair is a problem. If the grey were to be cells instead of hair I think I would have been better off.

So, should we be against humour in advertising? Though most marketing guys, like me don’t like humour. If I don’t have a sense of humour, I believe people like me are in majority. So, you can rule out my entire ilk from your target audience. And like beauty humour lies in the “eye” of the beholder. So everyone doesn’t understand the joke in the same spirit. There are quite a few recent examples of advertising which beat my senses hollow. Have you seen one for a website where a teenager’s father is spewing cash and walking around like a zombie whilst the teenager is happily shopping? Or the one where a certain Nawab (star) wins a race easily because he is wearing the innerwear of the advertised brand. Or he finds the murderer due to the same reason.

I am not convinced that these ads build business. Even if they cut thru the clutter and are interesting. They can get you the awareness, but interest leading to desire and finally action are serious question marks. And they will be questions as the brand benefit is not even remotely clear. The link between the brand benefit and the advertised situation is tenuous, if any. Often, the advertiser and the adman are excited about the idea because they love the idea and not the consumer.

There are exceptions and exceptions prove the rule. Fevicol is one such brand where the situations are humorous but the brand and the brand benefit is central to the advertising. Or is it that they are not necessarily funny ads but just bring a smile to your face.

Nonetheless, it is still worthy to say can we have more of Fevicol kind of advertising.

Meanwhile, just sing-along with me, “what’s this Lallantop, ji....................”

You can also reach me out at @agrawalsanjeev on twitter

Diwali and Pavlovian theory

Diwali is the biggest festival for most part of India. Do we really celebrate Diwali with as much gusto as the western part of the hemisphere? it is only 5 weeks to go for Diwali and I see only 2 ads that have Diwali orientation? Are we working on firing the consumption engine? Are we doing enough as marketers?

I decided to refer to a gentleman known as Ivan Pavlov. He has done some good work in relation to psychology and conditioning. He used another mammal (dog) to develop his theories. I am saying that all mammals are the same.

What did Mr. Pavlov do (or say)? The typical procedure for inducing classical conditioning involves presentations of a neutral stimulus along with a stimulus of some significance, the "unconditional stimulus." The neutral stimulus could be any event that does not result in an overt behavioral response from the organism under investigation. Conversely, presentation of the significant stimulus necessarily evokes an innate, often reflexive, response. Pavlov called these the unconditional stimulus (US) and unconditional response (UR), respectively. If the neutral stimulus is presented along with the unconditional stimulus, it would become a conditional stimulus (CS). Pavlov used the term conditional because he wanted to emphasize that learning required a dependent or conditional relationship between CS and US. If the CS and US always occur together and never alone, this perfect dependent relationship or pairing, causes the two stimuli to become associated and the organism produces a behavioral response to the CS. Pavlov called this the conditional response (CR).

Let me now try and translate this complex theory from Mr. Pavlov into simple marketing concept. The customers (or consumers) go and shop when Diwali is around, which is unconditional response (UR). However, we want them to shop early. Which is conditional response (CR) we want to generate. When do our customers begin to shop? When the Diwali date is nearby. Could be 2-3 weeks from the date of Diwali. So, the conditional stimulus (CS) is provided by the calendar in this case. Question is how do we provide the unconditional stimulus (US)? Diwali is associated with crackers and lights. Wouldn’t the customers start believing that Diwali is around the corner when the lights are lit and crackers start firing? So, can we marketers do that? In any case most of our Diwali advertising campaigns show lights and crackers. Just that if we all started our advertising campaign 2 weeks before last year with lights and crackers (US), the customers will start believing that Diwali is around the corner and rush to shop!!

A Pavlovian response or too simplistic and naive theory on my part? Will wait for your feedback. To help the cause, in my housing society I have suggested that the Diwali lights should be up by 1st October. Will you also light up your house early and signal Diwali?

At the same time do remember that the media clutter goes up when you are closer to Diwali. So, aren’t you better off beating the clutter by advertising earlier and getting a larger share of mind (or shall I say heart)?

Next time you plan your campaign think, “Diwali aa rahi hai”!

Shubh Diwali

You can also reach me out at @agrawalsanjeev on twitter

 

 

ZNMD - A perspective

I saw ZNMD today. A late watch, I must confess. I did so after a public voting by my colleagues and a 7-0 vote in favour of my watching the film. So, I had to be favourably disposed towards the film. I am trying to pen my thoughts post watching the film.

First things first. Disclaimer: I am not a film critic. I am not even attempting to be one. I am not Taran Adarsh, who gets paid to review, by any stretch of imagination. I am only a management guy trying to dabble into things that I should not. I am trying to find management gyan where I should not. Also, the observations here are only and only based on this film called Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara and nothing beyond that. The opinions here are my personal ones and not plagiarised from another source on the internet. You are not expected to agree to these observations as even my family and friends on the internet dont agree with these. So here go some observations:

Men are men and will be men: All the men are same. They believe that they can handle emotional problems on their own and do not need any assistance. Men also believe that giving emotional assistance to another man is not acceptable. Man one says to Man two, you have a problem. Man Two says to Man One - no I don’t have a problem. Man one says ok and chapter is closed. For men friendship is about drinking together, talking about the size of their house and car, and of course women. That’s it. Emotions and such stuff is not for men.

Men and women can’t be friends: The biggest proof of this is that even women believe and agree with this point of view. A woman can’t see his man happily talking to another woman. Man gets ring for his mom, shows to “friend” and she assumes that they are getting married. Am I seeing this from a “male” point of view? Not so sure.

Holiday is not about the location but about friends: I was firstly not excited about the drama relating to change of behaviour after 4 days of deep sea diving. But more importantly, I think you can enjoy deep sea diving in Phuket or the drive in South Africa can also be as scenic. So, I am not rushing to book my tickets to Spain as yet. But yes, it is a good idea to find company (alongwith family) that you will enjoy when on holiday. So, work harder on the friends rather than the location. 

Be careful about your phone usage if you dont want a pink phone: As a person quite obsessed with my blackberry, I was able to quite relate with Hritik using his phone continuously. Just before the moview, my colleagues had kind of warned me that I am likely to get a pink phone. So, I think if you men hate pink phones, try and reduce usage of your phones when you are with family and / or friends. This is an unsolicited advice which I myself will find hard to follow. Still it is an important one.

Fear is all in the mind: it is so true to say that the fear is a human creation. We have fear of all kinds and specially one of the unknown and that of failure. Just need enough will power to conquer fear and explore the capacity of human body and mind.

It’s all written: I completely agree with this. Whatever said and done most things are destined to happen the way they happen. You can only feel good that you are making an effort to alter the course.

Now come the more controversial things

You do need money: You dont have to have a situation where your father died when you were 8 and your mom was in debt to seriously want more money. People of my age have grown up in a “shortage economy” and the next generation has grown up in a “consumption era”. In both the cases, you value money like anything. In the former you want to plan your retirement and in the latter you need to “vacation in Spain”. How much money is enough is a perennial debate and can never be settled.

Apne liye kuch likho: Dont all of us want to “write” something for ourselves and not for others (advertising) only. But when you do that you dont just need financial courage, you also need social courage. When you want to do something different, you have to convince yourself, your family and the society at large. So, do we have it in us to go towards that path of difference. Or will we give up fighting too many battles.

I leave you on this philosophical question..............................................

Can we hang the liars?

“By a lie, a man...annihilates his dignity as a man.” ~ Immanuel Kant

By this, I definitely did not mean that Ladies are freely allowed to Lie and they’ll lose no dignity for it. On a serious note, I genuinely believe that lying is increasingly popular in today’s day and age. This, to my mind, is worrisome as this is not the direction that human race should be moving towards.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a lot of explanations. -- Saki

Does the above quote explain the human behaviour in relation to lying? Quite possible. We can find various explanations as to why humans lie. Ultimately, the reason which gives the best answer is that “it makes life easier”. Whether it is avoiding confrontation with your wife in saying that she has put on weight or a casual sms to your Boss saying that the work has been taken care of, lies are used as the instant solution for any kind of problem that exists for you. But this blog is not about human behaviour. This is about my behaviour. To verbalise why I go wild when I hear a lie. And by the time you finish reading, you can recommend me a good shrink.

What we forget that lying could be “instant” but its not “the” solution of the problem. And this is what makes me hate lies so much. You lie and can get away but the problem remains there and you don’t even acknowledge it. And when your wife suddenly weighs 10kg more, or when the work you committed to your Boss does not happen, you don’t even realize that the lie didn’t help you at all.

In most cases, sooner or later, the lie gets caught. As I mentioned earlier, the increasing popularity of lies has resulted in the acceptance of the liars. And that is why people of my breed are fast becoming extinct, just like dinosaurs. Most of the times, we “digest” a lie unless it’s a serious one. Lies lead to breaking of trust in both personal and professional life.

In a professional context once the trust is broken, it instantly results in delay of decisions and action points. You need to make sure now that this particular individual, who lied earlier, is not lying this time. You do all the cross checks before ensuring any action is taken. This means productivity loss as well as duplication leading to higher cost.

A liar is not believed even though he tell the truth. -- Cicero

Do I need more reasons for hating liars? Well, there are more…

One of the other reasons is that I believe that liars are cowards. They dont have the courage to face the truth. Face the reality. They are running away (not to exercise, though). Avoiding work because they dont know what to do. Not wanting to ask anyone because their ego will be hurt. Am I calling a liar an egoist? You may find this ironical but can’t ignore it either. By running away, you are also refusing to learn. You are refusing your own growth.

The next reason why I hate liars so much is that lying is highly contagious. As they say, “When a lie has travelled half the world, truth is just putting on its shoes”. Because of the pleasure of ease involved in lying, it spreads much faster than the truth does. One person lies and others want to jump and copy as the first person got away so easily. This further worsens the matter. Now instead of two liars, you have two hundred liars in the organization, only because the first two got away.

I also think that a lot of times people lie only because they are habituated. “I’ve sent an email”, when you have started to draft it and “I have reached office”, when you are half way through are instances of habits of lying – your current status does not give you a disadvantage, but why not adopt the easiest way is what’s at the back of your mind. This is the worst form of procrastination.

All these reasons, and much more, makes me hate, really hate, liars. I believe that the liars, organization, should be hanged, like in the tribal era, so it doesn’t ruin the organizational culture. It’s also disheartening to say, that I cannot recommend you to completely stop lying today, as we, the human race, are not “truth ready”! And finally, I dont recommend half-truth as an option, because I have stopped believing in “Ashwasthama, mara gaya, nar ya kunjaro” (Ashwasthama is dead, man or elephant). Still, I have to end this with some solution. If I dont I will be called a preacher and not a practitioner. So the final words would be:

Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. -- Oliver Goldsmith

PS: You can also reach me out at @agrawalsanjeev on twitter

The curse of being second - Rahul Dravid

Two days back India won its test match against a new minnow (West Indies). What is so special about it? The fact that MS Dhoni won his 15th test match as a captain and puts him few notches ahead of other captains? Or Rahul Dravid helping the country win one more test match? This was just the starting point of my thoughts. Just like a photograph triggered a blog of mine relating to MS Dhoni.

Rahul starred in the 54th test win for India (second only to Sachin with 61 wins). In test matches he now has 32 centuries (again second only to Sachin), with 12,192 runs he is a leading run getter for India in tests (second only to Sachin). He also has the third highest number of double centuries.

He is only one of the 2 batsmen to have scored more than 10K runs in both Tests and ODIs. He has 2nd highest number of centuries in tests + ODIs. In ODIs also he has starred in second highest number of wins for the country.

Rahul is a perfect example of a team player, who has kept wickets in ODIs to help the team play 7 batsmen. Opened the innings at various points in time, because we didn’t have 2 openers who were good enough. A selfless guy, media shy (Sachin is not), extremely low profile gentleman with no controversies (Sachin was involved in ball tampering case), Rahul is the perfect role model for my parents and me.

The issue is that all the records seem to suggest that he is the second best. Oh, just pulled out some data on his being the best. In tests he has the highest partnership runs in the world. Another example of a team player? For India, he has the highest century partnerships (19) with a single player. God! Oh yes, once again it is the God (aka Sachin) starring in this record. Found something that he doesn’t share with Sachin. Highest number of triple century partnerships by any single player in tests (4) and ODIs (2) for India. Maybe this record is just insignificant.

So, what is this blog about? Rahul suffers from the curse of being Second. He has the misfortune of being born in the same era as Sachin. Very much like Gundappa Vishwanath suffered from, after being in the same era as Sunny Gavaskar.

Let me ask, do you remember the guy who scaled Mount Everest second? Or the second person to have set foot on the moon? Oh gosh, I don’t even remember the name of the US Vice President. For that matter will struggle to recall India’s Vice President’s name. Do you remember who was the second President of India? Such kind of answers are expected to be known by some GK whiz kid, and normal public like you and me, don’t even bother to know these. It just doesn’t matter to us who is second. From my childhood, I was asked to be in the company of the student who stood first in class (though I was distantly away in terms of rank with that kid). Now all of this and more, leaves me with a question – Is coming second in life that bad?

In no way, can you undermine the efforts of the person who has come second. Unless the difference between first and second is huge, the preparation and perspiration put in by the top slot holders is not very different. It is just the extra streak of luck that favours an individual coming “First”. Can you relate to the parents’ “Oh no, just missed it” look when they see their child coming second? Hope you have read my blog "Twists and turns are part of life and not just cricket".

As a society, we’ve been bred to emulate no one but the topper, the person who is the best. But Best, in terms of results, and not the amount of efforts and application put. So what if you went an extra mile for preparations, if your results do not show it, you are surely not someone to be looked up to. For that matter, we don’t even care if the person coming second has excelled in various other tasks. If you cannot master “a” particular task, you are just not “the one”.

Some personal experiences and a lot of thoughts do make me acknowledge the efforts put in by people who end up “second”. I offer my respect and good wishes to all the energies spent in trying to conquer the top slot, but somewhere the things couldn’t work out.

So, let’s learn to applaud the second best! Be different, from now!

PS: You can also reach me out at @agrawalsanjeev on twitter.

Looking forward to IPL V

Disclaimer: The disclaimer appears upfront so that anyone of you who don’t want to read these notings under, Beyond Randomness, can do that right away.

I am not a cricket expert, though I have sometimes found Harsha inspiring (not after I found him yawning after a movie premier earlier this week). I am a regular indian who loves to watch his cricket with an occasional drink. As I am an MBA, I tend to over analyse the happenings around me. Pl do not expect any sense of humor in this article after decades of my peaceful existence in matrimony. Finally, do not expect any original ideas over here. Though I can assure you that the writing as a whole is completely original.

This article has been inspired by the falling TVR (aka Television Rating) of the IPL4. Actually not. The inspiration happened when I read Shri Shri Lalit Modi (aka the god of making money via cricket) talking about the falling rating. Wonder why is he blaming the current administration for the falling ratings. The ratings fell because Lalit wanted to make more money (presumably for BCCI) and created 10 franchises. Because there were 2 new franchises they needed players and it required re-auction of all the players. For better understanding of this issue, please read my previous blog, Why IPL is such a bore this year

Coming to the core of this article. I really want to see IPL V. Thats because next year there will be no Cricket World Cup of the 50 over variety. I would not have had the opportunity to rave about M S Dhoni and his greatness, as espoused in my blog, Demonstrating leadership away from limelight: the MS Dhoni way. So, to fill the emptiness in my evenings, I will want to watch IPL V. BUT, for that I have some thoughts as to how to make the next edition more interesting:

Buy Back: First things first. Need to rectify the errors of the past. If 10 teams is a bad idea as also espoused by the Glycodin man (aka Chirayu Amin), reduce them to 8. Chirayu tried to cough 2 teams out of IPL but Glycodin prevented the same. Now like a good corporate (who buys back the shares of its own company when the market price is lower than its own estimate), BCCI needs to go ahead and buy back 2 franchisees. They can create artificial boundaries to help them buy these back at a lower cost than what Sahara Shri paid them. It would definitely help.

Advertising for teams: The teams need to create anthems or advertising not just on the ethicity but also with the names of each of the players. As even towards the end of the tournament, we still argue about which player belongs to which team. Set Max can take cue from Khatron Ke Khiladi as to how they show name of all the participants.

Controversy: This IPL has been woefully low on controversy. This is not good sign for any successful event. Some controversies had a good beginning but fizzled out at the end. SRK not picking up Dada, Warne and Dixit spat have been no news at all.Liz Hurley presence did create some stir so did presence of Dale Styn’s girlfriend. But these sensations were at the wrong place, nothing to do with TVRs. The story of Gabriella Pasqualotto getting sacked for writing a blog was spicy. But her blog is a disappointment. No real news in it. Wonder why she got sacked! The BCCI machinery is missing the suspended IPL commissioner (aka Lalit Modi). Some action will be required next year.

Sack: if some cheerleaders needed to get a sack, these are the ones who are from the Sahara camp. Bharat Natyam and Kuchipudi is an insult to such great dance forms. We are better off with the sexy gyrations as part of the entertainment. What we need is that the TV Camera should focus more and more on the eye candy in between 2 overs.

Retirements: This part of the article changed today after I saw Warne bowl his last over in competitive cricket. He was spinning the ball like it was a top. Rohit, one of the finest talent in Indian side (is he in the Indian side?) was bamboozled by the old wily fox (aka Warne). So, Warne cannot be allowed to retire and so cant Gilly, after his century the other day. But heading my list or retirements is Sunny Gavaskar from the commentary box as he should allow Rohan his space in the sun. Let him become a successful commentator, atleast! And why not Ravi. He is no longer the most handsome cricketer (ever since Virat took the crown from him). And all those bimbos (is it a sexist statement?) who feature in the studio during Extraa Innings can go!!!

Now some serious cricketing suggestions (just in case you thought the points above were frivolous)

UDRS: I have become used to UDRS as it doesnt tolerate errors. And I hate errors. Today, Tendulkar getting a reprive was yet another instance that all forms of cricket must have UDRS to keep the pressure on the umpires.

Foreign player rule: I genuinely feel that BCCI should enhance the number of foreign players to 5. The cricket will become more competitive and interesting. Such talent sitting on the sidelines is a bad idea. The Rahul Sharma, Valthaty and Iqbal Abdullahs of the world will still find their place in the sun, if they are good. They dont need this kind of artificial protection.

Extra Points:  To make the game more interesting, we need to incentivise teams winning with a large margin. So, if you win with 20% balls to spare, you get 3 points instead of 2. Currently, winning on the last ball and with 4 overs to spare are the same things. It can make the journey to the playoff stage more unpredictable.

Strategic time out: We dont need this nonsense at all. I have nothing more to add on this point.

Enough for now. I do look forward to your feedback on this piece. You can also connect with me on twitter via @agrawalsanjeev.

Why IPL is such a bore this year?

To start with, who am I to write such a piece and even believe that someone can read this. Here goes my biodata. I am a cricket enthusiast, whose wife thinks he is a bad influence for turning children into couch potatoes. She wonders if I had so much passion for cricket why I got into corporate India instead of being another Harsha Bhogle. Here is more, I have two sons, who love MS Dhoni when he wins for India and hate him when he plays for CSK. What? All of this doesnt sound anything special about me? All of this is very typically Indian. OMG, I give up.

Wait, I am one of few Indians who watched India play and win all their World Cup knock out matches in the stadia. In January, I also said that investing in Cricket World Cup merchandise is a better idea than investing in IPL merchandise and finally in the second week of April I stuck my neck out and said that IPL 4 is going to have lesser rating percentage compared to the previous edition.

As I stuck my neck out early in the season and now am laughing myself to the bank courtesy some wins made over the office lunch table (bad debts not yet provisioned for). Question remains as to why I said what I said. I guess some of you who know me will call it plain, vanilla contrarian approach which has come true. Others who don’t know me will now have a nick name for me, Paul the Octopus. But the reality dawned on me when I read the following piece in cricinfo today relating to preview of a match tomorrow. Pl note that the parenthesis have my comments and not the original piece.

“In the last three years, Kolkata provided moments of hilarity, a chaotic management model, and a sense of pathos. (No such excitement is there this year. Though some say that Pune is the new KKR. But where is the Fake IPL player, where is the sulking SRK) Everything changed this year and here they are hovering at the top. Their batting was solid in the first half of the tournament and their bowlers have won the last two games for them. Brett Lee (What is a Punjab player doing) has sizzled, L Balaji (Isnt he a Dhoni man) has almost turned the clock back to his past, Iqbal Abdulla (which country does he belong to) has continued his form from the last domestic season, Jacques Kallis (the Mallaya man) has continued to be solid and Yusuf Pathan (the guy Warne discovered) has been steady and the bowling department has prospered. Three men - Gautam Gambhir (the Delhi local boy), Kallis, and Manoj Tiwary (dont remember his team)- have tallied over 220 runs, and Yusuf Pathan and Eoin Morgan have not been really required to flex their muscles yet. Things are looking good for Kolkata.”

As things look good for Kolkata, the same is not the case with IPL 4 as far as ratings are concerned. Ratings are down 22% over last year. The situation gets worse as the ratings are down 27% over last 10 matches.^

Player recognition is the biggest issue. Some illustrations are given above, We have 5 foreign captains amongst 10 teams. Last time it was 3 out of 8. The star players dont play for their own cities. Gambhir is a Bengali gentleman, Yuvraj is not a Punjabi munda, Dravid is not a Bangalorean, VVS now belongs to Kerela. Dada has been forced to take a sabbatical. Who is T R Birt and Klinger (names I heard in the DD and KTK match on 2nd May). And then to top it all we have ten teams. It is beyond simple human ability to configure all these changes in one’s head without the use of a computer. These new teams even seem to have somewhat funny names, Kochi Tuskers Kerala and Pune Warriors India. Incidentally both eams changed their names post the initial announcement.

Unpredictability makes the game more interesting. All of us agree with the same. Isnt there a limit for everything. If the points table is like a deck of cards getting shuffled after every deal (match), you obviously dont have any favourites. You actually start calling the game a lottery. Do you remember the days that online lottery used to be telecast “live” on television. I never liked watching the same.

And where is the Razzmatazz and the chutpatah flavour of the past. Shilpa thinking that Warne is a fast bowler. Harbhajan slapping Sreesanth. The joke is still that Sree cried because he did not get a hug from the franchise owner. SRK sulking and not watching the match. The IPL commissioner’s charismatic presence at almost all the matches and the well talked about parties with the Fake IPL player adding his two bits. What we now have the Pune Cheerleaders doing Bharat Natyam on a cricket stage.

After the high of India winning the world cup, it is not a great thing to watch the stars battle against each other. Cheering for Malinga is now very different from last year. Do we also have some tired players around. To avoid controversy, I will not name them. But your guess will be better than mine. Beyond criticim we do have some constants though. The richest lady’s presence at the games. Sachin’s hunger for runs and the CSK team which barring Murli looks the same. But these constants are not enough for IPL 4 as the ratings are down about 20% over last year. BCCI and Sony may be laughing their way to the bank but this is not good omen for IPL franchise. This is not the way that you would treat the hen that lays golden eggs.

PS: you can also connect with me on twitter @agrawalsanjeev

^ As per article in Cricinfo dated April 28th. http://www.espncricinfo.com/indian-premier-league-2011/content/story/512936.html