Disclaimer: The author is not a mythology expert. As
some of the observations are based on mythology, the same cannot be verified.
If your feelings are hurt, the same is deeply regretted.
The premise of this writing
is that the treatment of women in India is determined in a large part by the
behavior of women themselves. As
Mahabharata is considered a cultural symbol of India, this narration starts
with my using popular stories (beliefs) extracted from the Epic.
Somewhere it all started
with Kunti, the mother of Pandavas. To digress, I read a very interesting
statement. A man who treats his woman like a princess is sure raised in the arms of a
queen. This means that how a
man behaves is in a large way the responsibility of his mother. Coming back to
Kunti, when Pandavas returned after Draupadi’s Swayamvar, either of Yudhisthira
or Bhima said, see mother what have we got. The implication was that they have
got some alms. Kunti, without looking, told them to distribute whatever they
have got equally amongst the five of them. Therefore, Draupadi had 5 husbands.
The mythology has various discussions on what happened after Kunti’s verdict.
However, there is no discussion on what Kunti felt or said to rectify the
situation. This was an odd situation and King Drupada (Draupadi’s father)
consulted various learned men on what should be done.
Did Kunti realize her
mistake and felt bad about what was to become of Draupadi? Could she have said
that I take my words back? I said this in error and my words are nullified. Couldn’t
she have performed penance and summoned the Gods? Scriptures do not mention any of these acts by her. And that is why
I say, it all started with Kunti.
Another folk retelling tells
us how Kunti never shared her kitchen secrets with Draupadi. Through food Kunti
ensured her sons still came to her and were not totally smitten by their
beautiful wife. Is there an act of
one upmanship?
Let’s switch to Draupadi.
She is supposed to have been born out of fire. She could be fiery and angry
when the situation called for it, but still had a compassionate nature. She
encouraged people to face life with the same inner strength that she did. She
is supposed to have told Karna during her Swayamvar that he is not eligible to
marry her. However, there is no mention of her protesting her marriage with
five men. Family honour?
Apparently, when Draupadi
agreed to be the common wife, her condition was that she would share her household
with no other woman. So, is it
convenience at work on part of Draupadi?
Draupadi did protest when
Dushasana came to fetch her after she was lost in the game of dice. However,
even after her insult she goes to the forest with her husbands. This is what is
taught in Hindu households? Patidharma?
Were Pandavas raised well by
their mother? If yes, why did Yudhisthira gamble his wife? Wife is a possession like jewellery, kingdom and infantry?
Cut to modern India. Mother-in-laws
are often an accomplice or even the mastermind in the act of atrocities against
bahus? Where did it all start? Are these women taking revenge for what they themselves
went through? Have they raised their sons well enough to respect women and
their modesty? I am not willing to accept that all this should be blamed on
society and women are helpless. If we have to blame, blame it on Mahabharata.
One of the more
controversial subjects relates to objectification of women in Cinema and
advertising. This has been beautifully written about by my ex-colleague Santosh
Desai in one of his articles and I cannot add any more. However, do want to
mention that the women who are party to this objectification are rich actresses
who are not in dire need of money. They are portraying these roles with no
moral qualms and under no pressure except for the greed of money.
I end by saying that none of
this absolves Indian male of what is going on in the society. But our societal
ills start from Mahabharata and the role of women in the state that they find
themselves in. Women need to stand up for themselves and their rights. Some of
the words used above are lack of compassion, jealousy, family honour and
Patidharma. Women need to question these words and their usage in daily life.
And mothers need to ensure that sons and daughters grow up in equality and
learn compassion as demonstrated in the household. If change has to happen,
women need to participate in the same.
Some controversial thoughts
have been written here, hopefully they will serve as food for thought.
PS: Draupadi
was blessed by Shiva in her previous birth that she have five husbands. This
still doesn’t absolve Kunti for what she did as she was not aware of this boon.
Also, the premise of this writing is that a woman having five husbands is not good
for the woman. If you disagree with this premise then my whole argument falls
flat.
I look forward to your feedback. You can also connect with me on twitter via @agrawalsanjeev
