It all started with Kunti

Disclaimer: The author is not a mythology expert. As some of the observations are based on mythology, the same cannot be verified. If your feelings are hurt, the same is deeply regretted.

The premise of this writing is that the treatment of women in India is determined in a large part by the behavior of women themselves. As Mahabharata is considered a cultural symbol of India, this narration starts with my using popular stories (beliefs) extracted from the Epic.

Somewhere it all started with Kunti, the mother of Pandavas. To digress, I read a very interesting statement. A man who treats his woman like a princess is sure raised in the arms of a queen. This means that how a man behaves is in a large way the responsibility of his mother. Coming back to Kunti, when Pandavas returned after Draupadi’s Swayamvar, either of Yudhisthira or Bhima said, see mother what have we got. The implication was that they have got some alms. Kunti, without looking, told them to distribute whatever they have got equally amongst the five of them. Therefore, Draupadi had 5 husbands. The mythology has various discussions on what happened after Kunti’s verdict. However, there is no discussion on what Kunti felt or said to rectify the situation. This was an odd situation and King Drupada (Draupadi’s father) consulted various learned men on what should be done.

Did Kunti realize her mistake and felt bad about what was to become of Draupadi? Could she have said that I take my words back? I said this in error and my words are nullified. Couldn’t she have performed penance and summoned the Gods? Scriptures do not mention any of these acts by her. And that is why I say, it all started with Kunti.

Another folk retelling tells us how Kunti never shared her kitchen secrets with Draupadi. Through food Kunti ensured her sons still came to her and were not totally smitten by their beautiful wife. Is there an act of one upmanship?

Let’s switch to Draupadi. She is supposed to have been born out of fire. She could be fiery and angry when the situation called for it, but still had a compassionate nature. She encouraged people to face life with the same inner strength that she did. She is supposed to have told Karna during her Swayamvar that he is not eligible to marry her. However, there is no mention of her protesting her marriage with five men. Family honour?

Apparently, when Draupadi agreed to be the common wife, her condition was that she would share her household with no other woman. So, is it convenience at work on part of Draupadi?

Draupadi did protest when Dushasana came to fetch her after she was lost in the game of dice. However, even after her insult she goes to the forest with her husbands. This is what is taught in Hindu households? Patidharma?

Were Pandavas raised well by their mother? If yes, why did Yudhisthira gamble his wife? Wife is a possession like jewellery, kingdom and infantry?

Cut to modern India. Mother-in-laws are often an accomplice or even the mastermind in the act of atrocities against bahus? Where did it all start? Are these women taking revenge for what they themselves went through? Have they raised their sons well enough to respect women and their modesty? I am not willing to accept that all this should be blamed on society and women are helpless. If we have to blame, blame it on Mahabharata.

One of the more controversial subjects relates to objectification of women in Cinema and advertising. This has been beautifully written about by my ex-colleague Santosh Desai in one of his articles and I cannot add any more. However, do want to mention that the women who are party to this objectification are rich actresses who are not in dire need of money. They are portraying these roles with no moral qualms and under no pressure except for the greed of money.

I end by saying that none of this absolves Indian male of what is going on in the society. But our societal ills start from Mahabharata and the role of women in the state that they find themselves in. Women need to stand up for themselves and their rights. Some of the words used above are lack of compassion, jealousy, family honour and Patidharma. Women need to question these words and their usage in daily life. And mothers need to ensure that sons and daughters grow up in equality and learn compassion as demonstrated in the household. If change has to happen, women need to participate in the same.

Some controversial thoughts have been written here, hopefully they will serve as food for thought.

PS: Draupadi was blessed by Shiva in her previous birth that she have five husbands. This still doesn’t absolve Kunti for what she did as she was not aware of this boon. Also, the premise of this writing is that a woman having five husbands is not good for the woman. If you disagree with this premise then my whole argument falls flat.

I  look forward to your feedback. You can also connect with me on twitter via @agrawalsanjeev